Funny Out of office messages

Tara Hall over at the developerWorks Lotus blog asked about funny Sametime status messages. The other day I received a funny e-mail with amusing out of office replies:

Suggestions for next time you're out of the office and need to set up an Auto-Reply e-mail:

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I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

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I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.

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You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received
anything at all.

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Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management

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Thank you for your email.

Your credit card has been charged £5.99 for the first ten words and £1.99 for each additional word in your message.

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Thank you for your message, which has been added to an email queueing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks and 3 days.

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I am on holiday.

Your e-mail has been deleted.

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Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

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Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Please don't bother to leave me any messages.

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I've run away to join a different circus.

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AND, FINALLY, ABSOLUTELY THE BEST....

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I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Loretta' instead of 'Steve'.'

As for the funny status message, one I can recall is:

I used to be more active when I was young

:o)